We have to fight for every contract because god knows, our competition will… Here is a list of things you can do right now to stay sharp and motivated in the dry spells.
Listen up unemployed Theatre Suckers. I’m talking to you: you with the bong in one hand a cigarette in the other; you who have masturbated four times already today; you who feels like you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life because you just realized theatre is for suckers. This post is for you.
We all experience it: the moment when the bobble pops. You graduate theatre school full of potential and energy and are ready to show the theatre industry exactly what you are made of. You send out your packages with headshots you spent too much money for to agents all across the city. You hear back from none of them. Or, even worse, you only hear back from the ones who work from home in a bathrobe. You attend every open call audition only to learn that the gig does not pay and the director sleeps with the prettiest actors in his shows. You attend casting director workshops, spend $250 to meet Stephanie Gorin and realize you are one of the 200 desperate actors hoping that Gorin will remember your name at the end of the day… and she doesn’t. And then the bubble pops. You realize that the industry that you spent four years and thirty-thousand dollars to be a part of is actually a load of shit. That only 5% of all actors gain their full incomes from work in the industry (and of those 5%, most are extras in movies). And then depression sets in. You get a job at Starbucks. You smoke pot every night with theatre school friends and reminisce about the “good old days” when Professor so-and-so told off that bitch you never liked for doing that thing she did. And “how funny was that?” And, “Oh my god! Did you hear about how Tina is starting her own theatre company? She’ll never be successful.” And, “I can’t believe I didn’t get called in for that audition. That casting director hates me.” Sister Sucker, Brother Sucker… Wake up! Guess what? The theatre industry is nothing like Theatre School. In theatre school, parts, roles, projects are given to us on silver platters because we PAY FOR THEM. In the real world, we have to do everything we can to earn those parts, those moments on stage that make us feel whole, make us feel alive and worth something. We have to fight for every contract because god knows, our competition will be. And that guy who looks just like you will steal that part away from you yet again. So get off your ass. Put your bong down, put your dick away and get motivated. Get excited about your life and see this dry spell as a time to improve yourself as an artist, as a man or a woman (or both… or neither). Realize that this time can be used to make you into an artist that is hireable, that is desirable. So that next time you walk into Stephanie Gorin’s casting studio, she is forced to remember you.